Figuring out parenting as we journey along...
Practicing Music: From Nags to Dishes
Inspired by flute-playing cousins on both sides of the family, my daughter decided she also wanted to master the instrument. After renting a flute, she started lessons, faithfully blowing on the mouthpiece day after day until she finally got a tone. Thrilled with her progress, she moved on, learning the fingering of a few notes, and eventually progressed to simple folk tunes. After a few months, though, her initial enthusiasm waned, as she grew tired of holding up the long metal pipe, tapping out rhythms, and running through scales and arpeggios. As the principal financier in this musical endeavor, I had an interest in keeping her going, and grew frustrated when she ignored my reminders about practicing. Nagging only made matters worse.
Sensing that, deep down, she still enjoyed playing, I looked for a way to spark her interest again. If she mastered enough of the fundamentals, she would soon get to the fun part - creating music, or at least beautiful sounds she would enjoy hearing. The trick lay in finding the initial motivation.
First we gave it a rest for a few days, hoping she would get a second wind, both literally and figuratively. Next, we asked her teacher if, in addition to Rubank’s laborious etudes, she could learn some Broadway songs, hoping to entice her with some familiar, fun music.
Finally - and this step proved crucial – we established practicing as part of our daily routine, scheduling it in every day right after breakfast and before school. A big fan of dawdling, my daughter typically ran late in the morning. Setting the goal of practicing before leaving the house gave her early hours purpose, though. Not only did she start making it to school on time, but having a regular slot to play each day ensured the practice sessions happened automatically. Or perhaps she wasn't quite awake enough to realize she was working at something. At any rate, instead of nagging her about practicing, I simply cleaned up the breakfast dishes while she played. A glow soon returned to her music, and now, a few years later, she is still going strong. Our only setback came when she finished the wearisome etude book, only to learn that several more Rubank volumes awaited her, filled with countless exercises and drills.
When my other daughter announced she wanted to learn saxophone, I planned on taking the same approach, working practice sessions into her daily routine. To my surprise, I soon realized I could spare myself the trouble. Her piano teacher, disgruntled over my daughter's decision to quit, promised us she would never succeed at sax, being much too young for such an advanced instrument. Hesitant to embark upon a new musical venture, my husband agreed with her. Determined to prove them both wrong, my daughter defiantly tooted away on her horn every day after starting lessons, without a single nag from me. After resolutely mastering the basics, she moved on. Even when we learned the next step involved none other than Rubank's etudes for saxophone, she stuck obstinately to her practice schedule, never missing a beat.
Now, with two children playing instruments and vying for early morning music time, parent-child battles over practicing have turned to sibling fights over who gets to go first - or in other words, music to my ears.
Copyright © 2009-2011 by Jennifer Kirsch. All Rights Reserved.
